The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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