Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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