No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
this will be a night to untag.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
All the doctor said was why
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize