are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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