I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
