Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
