That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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