I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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