I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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