singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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