In the future we'll all be gay
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize