I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
