It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
