There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize