I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
