I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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