FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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