Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
