Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
