..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
