Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
