you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
