so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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