I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
