White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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