Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
