God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Even my vagina gasped.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize