i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
