discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
