we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
