There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
