so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
