i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
