i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
