DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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