maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
