Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize