Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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