there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
