also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize