Dude my mom stole all your condoms
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
