O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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