We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
