I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
