He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
