you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
