Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I am one with the molecules
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
