regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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