marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
