Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
