If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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