Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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