i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
cat food counts as protein by the way
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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