I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
