Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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