5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My ATM looks so different sober.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
