I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
