the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
