Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize