Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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