Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
