I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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