Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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