hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
